Newman's Impossible Mail Route
Seinfeld fans universally agree that Newman is one of the show’s most memorable and hilarious characters. People who aren’t Seinfeld fans...
THE HUMORIST
Raise Your HQ™
Comedy Engineered to Raise Your HQ™ (Humor Quotient)
7 Rules of Sports Radio
Sports radio is a form of entertainment featuring a cadre of loudmouth dickheads yelling about sports and reading shitty ads. But there’s...
What To Say When You Didn’t Hear Someone
The smorgasbord of phrases prompting clarification for words your brain steadfastly refuses to process can sow indecision
5 Best Excuses To Get Out Of Anything
Don’t you wish you had a rock solid excuse to neutralize someone who’s trying to rope you into some stupid activity?
5 Essential Qualities of Russian Literature*
The blunt cynicism that pervades Russian literature makes for an intense reading experience...
The 5 Worst Writers of All Time
These writers' knack for disgracing the art of literature is extraordinary.
How To Do Small Talk Right
If you're a human being, you no doubt dread the tedium of maintaining a conversation with another human being.
My (Unpublished) Interview
After submitting my answers to a website that publishes interviews with entrepreneurs, I never heard back from them.
The Art of Eye Contact
Whether you're interviewing for a job, courting a mate, or closing a sale, strong eye contact is a must.
10 Rules of Online Dating
Online dating can be exhausting; from the hackneyed profiles to the inappropriate pictures, it's a world rife with disappointment.
It's Time To Bring Back Ritual Japanese Suicide
When you've reached peak shame, seppuku is your only practical solution for freeing yourself from shame's tyranny
10 Reasons Why Fantasy Football Sucks
It's the time of year when football fans spend eighty percent of their daily word allotment on fantasy football.
Everyone Hates Comcast
One of America's favorite pastimes is calculating the rate at which our collective lifespan decreases as we deal with Comcast's failures.
National Tire & Battery: A National Disgrace
When I step into National Tire and Battery, I feel like a 19th century Russian peasant being led to the firing squad, only not as lucky.
The College Loan Payoff Formula
After 63 years of paying off my student loans, I have barely made a dent. I created a formula to help people in similar situations.
Buying a Home in Boston
Buying a house in Boston is rife with challenges. Here's your how-to guide on how to not die house hunting in Greater Boston.
The World's Worst Industry
If you carry around an unlimited supply of quarters and work in a NASCAR pit crew, you may not hate Air, Inc.